Tahiti. Maybe you’ve heard of its sandy beaches. Maybe you’ve heard of its clear blue waters or its rugged beauty. We’re here to inform you: it’s all a lie. Just look at these 11 photos.

1. The Landscape

Not exactly impressive, is it? We’ve seen landscapes like this plenty of times before. In our imaginations, in video games…other places. Nothing special, Tahiti. Next.

2. The Food

When you do end up eating it usually looks something like the image above. Fresh fruit, pancakes, and an omelet for breakfast? Pass.

3. The Attitude

Everyone’s smiling all the time. There’s hardly one serious person in all of Tahiti, and it’s contagious. Stop trying to change me, Tahiti!

4. The Seclusion

Could there BE any more privacy? It makes you suspicious. What exactly are people in these huts doing to one another? I suspect witchcraft. The strange moaning gave it away.

5. It Looks Nothing Like The Photos

Get ready to be disappointed.

6. Too Many Stars

With no pollution, there are thousands of stars out in the night sky. How is anyone supposed to sleep with the sky this bright?

7. Crowded Waters

How am I supposed to enjoy a dip in the clear blue water with all this wildlife around? I’ll stick to the above ground pool in my neighbor’s backyard, thanks but no thanks.

8. The Drinks Are Too Sweet

What are you trying to do, give me diabetes? Calm my nerves? I’ll stick to Bud Light.

9. The Traffic

Sure, it might look empty here but…there’s a traffic jam coming. Has to be.

10. The Beer

Actually, you know what – this beer is pretty tasty. Better than Bud Light even. Maybe Tahiti isn’t that bad.

11. The Sunsets

Okay, I take it all back. I’m moving here. Forgive me, Tahiti.

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